“Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy –
the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.”
Eric Hoffer
My head hung low as I walked away from the business man who had prayed for me. I was sorely disappointed.
You see, I had gone to a large Christian business conference several years ago and was hungry to learn more about business. My entrepreneurial appetite was unquenchable. The conference was held in a huge ballroom set up for 500 people, but because it was the first night of the event and late into the evening, many people went home.
Only 30 of us were left sitting in the crowd as the very charismatic Christian business man began to speak. With his wife by his side, his raw but gripping presentation told story after story of God’s provision in the midst of adversity and how God had grown his company so large that he was now a multi-millionaire. He continued on using a few questionable word choices, but with sincerity of heart and a heart as big as Texas, he continued in full humility.
At the end of his session, he asked if anyone wanted prayer for themselves and their business. I immediately pressed forward for prayer along with a bunch of men. There were very few women in the audience.
I stood in the prayer line as, one-by-one, this speaker began praying, giving each man a “big” business word from God about their company.
Words such as, “You are the quarterback and God is about to throw you the ball and your company will explode in business.”
Or “God is your coach and is giving you the strategy to run your business to win.”
On and on went the big business words that seemed more out of a sports playbook than church. All the big words were geared towards the men, but I wanted one, too!
“Pick me, God, pick me,” Echoed the prayer in my mind.
“I want a big business word, God – I want a big business word, God,” I continued praying.
I was like a small kid on Christmas day, waiting to open a long anticipated present or like a child pulling on the shirt of their father, competing against her brother for her father’s attention.
The speaker finally put his hand on my shoulder and proclaimed, “I see you as a prayer intercessor.”
“Prayer intercessor?!” I thought to myself.
I didn’t even know what that meant.
He continued as he announced to the men in the room, “Don’t be offended men, God really hears her prayers more than the rest of us.”
“That was weird,” I thought to myself, still waiting for my big business word.
But that was it!
He handed me a prayer cloth and moved on to the next person.
…No big business word; nothing about my company; Nada. Zip!
Just some strange word about prayer.
I hung my head low and began to walk away, sorely disappointed.
You think I would have been happy. After all, the speaker told everyone in the room that God hears my prayers the most, but I was so bummed.
Later that night as I was driving home I asked God, “I wanted a big business word, God! What happened?”
He told me, “You already know the business words I have spoken to you in the past. I was giving you something you DIDN’T know about yourself.”
“Oh”, I said, feeling rather sheepish.
Then I began to thank Him for giving me something that I didn’t know I had. God had highlighted something new in me that I didn’t realize was already there.
I have learned to grow in prayer since that word and have increased my prayer life because of it.
Today, you may have a set of expectations from God, but it seems like He is not fulfilling them. Or maybe God is telling you something that doesn’t make sense.
Many times He is revealing new things about us that we may not know about ourselves.
Stay open to what God speaks to you about. It may not be what you were expecting, but it will surprise you and challenge you in bigger ways than you ever imagined.
Share below what God has spoken to you that has change your view of yourself or your situation.
“When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, ‘The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.’”
Judges 6:12 NIV
One fateful decision landed me smack in the middle of my own Wilderness…
Though I was obeying God’s voice, I spent the next several years “walking on water,” even though it felt more like I was treading water. A Journey Out of the Wilderness is for people going through a rough time—a Wilderness experience—where you feel as though you are “down for the count” and ready to give up. Wilderness Wanderers feel as though they are doing laps around the mountain, passing the same tree over and over again wondering, “Will this never end?” However, being in the Wilderness will be one of the most transformational times of your life.