“I know what it is to feel unloved, to want revenge, to make mistakes, to suffer disappointment, yet also to find the courage to go forward in life.”
“Vindicated at last” I thought to myself as I spoke to the dean of the department at the university where I received my masters degree.
“Yes, your degree is the one that you need for the job”, the dean said to me on the phone.
“I will write you a letter to the other college, stating that your degree is correct”, he said as I proceeded to take down his email address to contact him later.
….But there was a funny check in my spirit.
I just didn’t feel right about following through with it.
You see…
It all started a few months ago when I was finishing up teaching as a part-time professor at a local community college.
My class was ending and I was asking God how He was going to provide the needed income for my family, while the company I own is growing to becoming profitable enough to sustain us.
I teach at two colleges, but one of my classes was ending and I needed another class to replace it.
Out of the blue one day, I received a call from a local community college that wanted to hire me to teach the same exact class I was teaching at the other college.
I was thrilled!
It was my favorite class to teach.
No interview – the job was mine if I wanted it.
Of course I wanted it!
…But then I remembered to pray and ask God if I should take it.
I tend to be a go-getter and sometimes forget to stop and pray about things.
After I prayed, I sensed a green light from God to go for it and accept the job offer.
The amazing thing was that they offered me the job and I didn’t have to go through the interview process.
All I had to do was bring in some paperwork and my university transcript to show that I had the qualifications they needed.
Colleges are very strict on their guidelines on what they accept as qualifications to teach a specific course.
So a week later I was in the dean’s office of the new college and began the arduous task of filling out the 2” high stack of papers to get hired. I went to the personnel department to hand in all my paperwork – including my transcript.
I received an email a few days later stating that they were confused by the way my degree was written on my transcript.
They claimed that my degree did not match their qualifications to teach that particular class, even though I was teaching that exact same class at another college.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I explained that to them, but they suggested that I alter my transcript (I guess not realizing that altering a transcript was illegal!)
The personnel lady refused to pick up the phone and call the dean of the department of the university where I received my degree.
Something was fishy…
So because of one incompetent personnel lady, I was out of a job which meant a loss of thousands of dollars!
I was angry.
No..
I was furious!
“How could someone at a secretarial level cost me thousands of dollars?” I thought to myself half-heartily praying.
This wasn’t the first time a secretary had messed up my paperwork and caused a huge loss of income.
I was determined to fight this injustice done to me.
…But then I had to remember to pray.
“God do you want me to fight this injustice done to me?” I asked not really wanting an answer because I truly wanted to fight it.
“No” was the simple answer.
“Why did you have me even apply for this job if you were going to take it away through an incompetent personnel lady?” I asked perturbed about the situation.
“Do you trust Me?” He responded.
That question has been a reoccurring question God has asked me for the past 5 years.
“Yes, I do trust you God”, but to be honest part of me truly didn’t.
Finally I said, “O…o…o…okay I’ll trust you that You will fight for justice in this matter.”
I then proceeded to call the dean of the university where I got my degree to see if he would write a letter to state my proper degree awarded.
Not very trusting (I understand).
“I will write you a letter to the other college, stating that your degree is correct”, he said as I proceeded to write down his email address to contact him later.
“Vindicated”, I thought to myself.
…But again that funny check in my spirit.
Something just wasn’t right.
I didn’t have peace about following up with the dean of the new college to ‘proof’ who I was or that my degree was correct.
I wrestled with God like Jacob in the Bible.
God won.
As I was praying I felt like God said, “If you fight this and take it on yourself, then you are taking the evidence right out of my hands in the Courts of Heaven.”
“What?” I said very confused.
“I am fighting as your advocate in the Courts of Heaven and if you take this on yourself, then I will not have the evidence I need against the enemy.” He said.
“You can either fight this yourself, or trust Me to fight it for you.” He continued.
I finally released it to God and said, “Okay, I’m backing off and it is all in your hands.”
Two weeks later…
I received an email from the dean at my current college where I teach and still had the one class.
The email read…
“There were so many students that have signed up for your class next semester, that I’m increasing your enrollment and I’d like to pay you time and a half to teach your class.”
She wanted to pay me time and a half for teaching the exact same class I was already teaching.
I didn’t have to drive anywhere else, or prep for a second class, or fight Los Angeles traffic, or do anything different except teach the same class I’ve been teaching for years.
I’ve been there for over 10 years and this had never happened before!
It reminded me of the story in the Old Testament of a Shunammite woman who was barren and wanted a child, but had given up hope.
The prophet came to town and through her hospitality she invited him to stay at their house.
He wanted to bless her and give her something for her kindness.
He found out that she wanted a child and then gave her a prophetic word that she would no longer be barren but have a child. A year later she gave birth to a son, but then he died when he was a young boy.
She went to the prophet and asked him, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord?” she said.
“Didn’t I tell you, ‘Don’t raise my hopes’?”
The prophet went back with her to the house and he prayed over the boy and he came back to life.
I’m not sure why she was given a son – then to have him die – then be raised up again.
But her revelation of God’s love must have hit new levels!
I know what it is like to have your hopes raised and then dashed…
but then to see how God really did come through.
As I received the email from my dean, I felt the love of God wrapping around me like a warm blanket on a rainy day.
I dropped to the ground with tears of joy and amazement.
I now had a much deeper revelation of God’s love and provision in my life.
God’s got this.
God’s got my family.
Why did it happen this way?
I don’t know.
I just know that God used it to show me His love in a more deep and profound way – just like the Shunammite woman.
What are some of the things that have been stolen from you?
Is it time, treasured items, relationships?
Do you trust God to take care of it for you as your advocate in the Courts of Heaven?
One of my favorite ancient names for God is Jehovah-Gmolah.
It means God of recompense.
Recompense is a legal term and it is not just about ‘repayment’, but it means to give back over and above anything that was stolen, killed, or destroyed.
Today what have you taken on as your own battle that you need to put back into God’s hands?
Let Jehovah-Gmolah, the God of recompense, be your advocated and show you His love in a greater measure.
“There must be Someone in Heaven who knows the truth about me, in highest Heaven, some Attorney who can clear my name.”
Job 16:19 MSG
One fateful decision landed me smack in the middle of my own Wilderness…
Though I was obeying God’s voice, I spent the next several years “walking on water,” even though it felt more like I was treading water. A Journey Out of the Wilderness is for people going through a rough time—a Wilderness experience—where you feel as though you are “down for the count” and ready to give up. Wilderness Wanderers feel as though they are doing laps around the mountain, passing the same tree over and over again wondering, “Will this never end?” However, being in the Wilderness will be one of the most transformational times of your life.